


Lost to you

by Vlindervin



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eyecontact to lovers, M/M, Musician David, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24112738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vlindervin/pseuds/Vlindervin
Summary: April 3th, 23:24Sometimes, no matter how tired he is, Matteo can’t sleep.
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 127





	Lost to you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I've been writing this for a while now and I rushed to finish it so i'd be able to post it on our boys' anniversary! Happy Liebe day! Hope you enjoy

_April 3th, 23:24_

Sometimes, no matter how tired he is, Matteo can’t sleep. 

His body can tell him he should get some sleep because he has to be up in three hours all it wants, his brain never listens to it, too busy being very much awake. 

It happens more often than is probably healthy, but most of the time it’s not unbearable. Sure, it’s a little bit annoying when he has class at nine in the morning, and at two he’s still up, but he can mostly deal. Over the years, he’s found lots of ways to occupy nights like these. Trying out recipes and making his roommates very happy the next day. Watching trashy tv shows that have ten seasons and remind him of the one his grandmother used to watch when he visited in Italy. Listening to music and getting high, which is the worst of his habits and the reason he found all the others. On blessed moments he’s struck with a sudden bout of inspiration, managing to write an entire essay in the span of a few hours and actually getting good grades on it, too. Hanging out with Hans when he’s awake or coming back from a night out, watching movies that make Hans cry, and M atteo too, but more secretly. 

So, no, it’s not unbearable. Most of the time. 

Tonight is not one of those times. 

He’s tried it all, from reading, to baking, to studying, but nothing holds his attention for longer than five minutes. His roommates are all asleep and no matter how gentle Hans always is in reminding Matteo he can come to him for anything, Matteo doesn’t think he’d take too kindly to being woken up in the middle of the night just because Matteo is bored. 

The silence is deafening, though, and the apartment is slowly suffocating him. At the back of his throat panic is starting to claw its way out, eating up all the air on its path.

He makes a split decision, pulls on his shoes and coat, remembers to grab his keys at the last minute, and makes his way out. The april wind greets him when he steps outside, but he can’t be bothered to go back for his scarf, and instead, starts walking. 

He doesn’t have a destination in mind, just wants to clear his brain. It’s something his mom always used to say when he couldn’t sleep as a kid, that he should go downstairs and drink a glass of water to clear his mind, give it a change of scenery and have it focus on something else. It used to work when he was little.

It doesn’t anymore, but he figures he can follow the logic anyway. He immediately feels better, like his thoughts have settled, busy bracing themselves against the cold wind, too. 

He doesn’t know where he’s going, but that’s okay. He knows the city well enough to find his way back wherever he ends up by foot. He focuses on the steps he’s taking, the solid ground underneath his feet, the water the wind pulls out of his eyes, the quiet noises of a city at night. 

He’s actually having a pretty decent time. He’s always liked the dark of the night, and even though the night sky isn’t as impressive as it is on his grandparents’ farm in Italy, he can still see the moon peeking through the passing clouds, almost full, but not quite yet. 

He crosses maybe three people in the half hour he walks, so there’s no need to perform or watch what he’s doing. He can just breathe. 

He almost feels ready to head back, mind sufficiently aired out, when he feels the first of many drops of rain fall right on his nose. For a second, he considers trying to run back home before it gets much worse, but given his level of fitness and the rapidly growing speed of the water falling from the sky, he dismisses that idea instantly. 

He should find a place to hide, though. He’s already more tired than he wants to be, throw a cold on top of that, and he’s done for. 

He quickly scans his surroundings, hoping to find a place he can find a tunnel or _anywhere_ he can take shelter, and finds something much better. On the other side of the street, on the corner, is a bar Matteo had missed walking past. It doesn’t look like much, the owner’s name plastered above the window. It looks like your typical beer bar, not something Matteo would enter if the situation was different. It’s open, though, and the yellow glow shining out of the windows is inviting to Matteo’s body that’s growing wetter by the second. 

When Matteo pushes open the door, he’s hit with a warm gust of very welcome air. It’s what Matteo expected, for the most part. There’s a counter on one side and some tables on the other, with the smell of beer strong in the air. A middle-aged woman behind the counter who’s laughing at something one of her customers said. It’s cosy, with lots of laughter in the air and friendly smiles all around, cosier than Matteo expected, but it’s also kind of perfect. 

Perhaps the most surprising thing, though, is the boy to the left of the counter, sitting on a stool playing guitar and singing a song Matteo’s never heard before. The eyes of the musician immediately land on Matteo when he walks in and it stops Matteo dead in his tracks. 

Surprisingly, the first thing that comes to Matteo’s mind is a field trip he’d gone on with school once when he was around fourteen, to an exhibition about some Renaissance painter. The details are fuzzy, even the name of the painter unknown, as he’d been fourteen and pretending to be uninterested with all the other boys, but he does remember the eyes he saw on the art. How dark and haunting they were, hard to look away from.

And suddenly it’s like he’s back in front of one of those portraits, being hypnotized. 

He’s still a significant distance away from the boy, but from where he’s standing he notices the long lashes. The nose ring and toned arms strumming away at the snares. The flush on his cheeks, and his pink lips wrapping themselves around the words he sings. 

And, of course, his voice, draping a hush over the other noise surrounding him. It’s soft, but somehow strong enough to reach everyone, to make them stop and listen. 

Everything about the person sitting there is transfixing. Matteo thinks he might be the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen. 

He’s still looking at him, his piercing gaze never leaving Matteo’s face. Matteo absolutely does not mind hot boys looking at him across crowded places, singing like the words are meant for him, but it’s getting to be a little bit overwhelming, so he averts his eyes, and goes to sit at the counter instead of standing in the doorway and letting all the air in. He orders the cheapest beer on the menu and grimaces when he takes a sip. It does not taste good, but the cool liquid soothes his throat anyway. It’s not like he drinks beer for how it tastes. 

The singer has looked away by now, but Matteo’s eyes are still fixed on him. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him. Sure, there’s handsome men everywhere and Matteo can recognize that and appreciate that, but this feels different somehow. Bigger. There’s just something about him, something _real_ and _natural_ , like Matteo can tell he’s not faking how cool he is, that maybe he doesn’t even realize it himself. 

He’s just sitting there, the most handsome boy Matteo has ever met, singing words that have every single patron listening to him. Half the time his eyes are closed and the other half they’re calmly looking around, so focused on his music. It’s such a nice image Matteo almost can’t believe it’s real.

Especially because every few minutes he looks straight at Matteo and away with a small smile, and that’s something else entirely. Matteo is certain he’s not doing a very good job hiding his awe. 

The boy plays two more songs, with lyrics that are both hard to understand and still so beautiful, before thanking the crowd and disappearing. Watching him leave with the knowledge that he’ll probably never see him ever again hurts a little bit, but there’s nothing Matteo can do. Like with most things in life, he’s stuck watching it all go by, unable to make any kind of change. 

He thinks about the singer the entire way home, wishing he had some artistic talent so he could draw him right as to never forget his features. He only has his memory, though, and that’s already shitty on the best of days. 

When he gets home, he sleeps through the entire night.

***

_April 11th, 22:56_

He doesn’t go back for a weeks, his insomnia never reaching the heights it had that one time. He also doesn’t immediately realize that the singer might be there again, having convinced himself he was lost to Matteo forever. He doesn’t dwell too much on it, either, which is something his therapist advised him to do, but once in a while, in class or when he’s cutting up some carrots at the restaurant he works at, a pair of dark brown eyes will pop up in his brain and he’ll be transported back to the bar. His admiration never falters. 

It’s not before a few weeks that the restlessness hits Matteo again, and the only way he can think to stop the buzzing underneath his skin, is to take a walk. He ends up at the bar again, only realizing he might see the boy again when he’s standing in front of the door, but not daring to hope for too much. 

He takes a breath when he pushes open the door, and lets it back out when he finds the same cosy crowd from last time, but not the singer. It’s fine, though, he can still absorb the joyful energy of the patrons, and drink some shitty beer and maybe that will do the trick, too. 

Not having anyone to talk to or listen to gets boring really fast, though, and he’s getting ready to leave when from the door next to the counter, He walks out with a guitar in hand. He throws a quick smile at the woman tending the bar and grabs a stool, sits down in the same place he had last time. The chatter gets quieter and Matteo’s heart louder in his chest. 

He throws a hand through his heart and nervously laughs while adjusting his guitar, before leaning into the mic and he’s so _cute_ Matteo heart stutters. 

‘Uh, hi, everyone. I’m David,’ 

_David._

‘I see a few regulars. Hope you’re not sick of me yet’, _David_ adds with a laugh. ‘And those I haven’t seen yet, I hope you enjoy. The first song is a new one.’ 

He strums his guitar in a gentle melody, closes his eyes before opening them when he starts singing. His voice is even more beautiful than Matteo remembers. 

He now knows the man of his dreams is called David and that he writes his own songs, as Matteo had already suspected. His songs are hauntingly sad, which might be the reason they speak to Matteo, and he wonders if he’s okay. It seems like he’s gone through a lot. But then other times, there’s a few more upbeat songs, with more positive lyrics that have David smiling all throughout, and although Matteo connects more with the sad songs, he’d gladly listen to happy songs if it meant David would keep smiling his beautiful smile, taking over his whole face. 

At one point David’s eyes find Matteo again, like last time, and the eye contact feels like a lightning strike. David holds his gaze until the end of the song. Matteo’s not entirely inexperienced, he’s done _some things_ with a few boys in the past, but somehow that one minute of eye contact makes him feel hotter all over than any of his past partners have managed to make him feel. He doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Matteo stays until the end of David’s set, which must’ve taken around an hour. David thanks the crowd and then he’s gone again, leaving Matteo burning bright in the night. 

Sleep finds him the minute his head touches the pillow again, though, and in his delirious half-asleep state, he thinks that David might really be a nighttime angel, the only thing able to bring Matteo to sleep. 

***

_April 11th - 26th_

And from that day on, Matteo goes back more and more. He tries to go on nights he doesn’t need to wake up early, but he doesn’t always succeed. David isn’t always there, anyway, but Matteo is starting to see a pattern. He’s always been good at that. He concludes that David is never there on Wednesdays, which is unfortunately the day Matteo has the most time. He’s not there on Mondays, either, but that’s okay, because Matteo really shouldn’t be out late when he has class at eight, anyway. 

Except for a few exceptions, Matteo’s realized David is always there on Tuesdays and Fridays, but never both at once. 

He notices other things, too, listening to the songs a bit more closely. He starts recognizing the reoccuring ones, and even has a few favorites now. David doesn’t really sing love songs, or break up songs, or anything of the sort, but when he does sing about a person, he never uses gendered pronouns, always keeps the person of subject neutral. He doesn’t know if it actually means something, but he does know straight people love to reinforce their heterosexuality through their lyrics, and David never does that.

Then there’s also that one time he covered _Grace Kelly,_ and singing Mika seems like a meaningful choice. He’d also looked so adorable dancing along to the music as much as he could sitting on the stool and playing guitar. He’d catched Matteo’s eye singing _Hello, my baby_ all the way to _Why don’t you like yourself_ and he’d seemed to look right through Matteo, like he could read his deepest thoughts and insecurities. 

And that’s another thing, the way his eyes seem to always fall on Matteo after a while, but Matteo doesn’t want to see that as too big a sign, because maybe he truly doesn’t really like himself and it feels too much like wishful thinking to mean anything. 

***

_April 28th, 23:17_

But then the next time he sees him, all the hope he’s harbored in his chest, shatters on the floor, because this time David is not alone. He’s accompanied by a beautiful girl on the drums, whose long brown hair follows the flow of her movement. A girl who is tall and beautiful and keeps sharing laughs with David all throughout the performance. The kind of girl just as beautiful as David is handsome, who would look good walking next to him on the street. 

What was Matteo even thinking, that he stood a chance with someone so out of his league as David? They’ve never even talked, and Matteo is just Matteo, he’s nothing special, not worthy of someone like David.

It doesn’t matter that Matteo thought he felt something when David looked at him, doesn’t even matter that David’s been looking at Matteo at all. Doesn’t matter that David is still the coolest, hottest, most talented and interesting person Matteo has ever seen. 

He still stays until the end, no matter how sad he suddenly feels, because while all his unrealistic hopes might be dead, he can still appreciate the music. The drums bring a whole other dimension to the music, and he can’t deny the two sound good together. A few times David tries to catch Matteo’s eyes, but it feels wrong to reciprocate when his _girlfriend_ is sitting right there. Maybe David is just doing it to connect to his audience more, but it’s never been _just_ anything to Matteo, and so Matteo looks away everytime David’s eyes land on him. Matteo think he looks a little bit disappointed after the third time, but he dismisses that as his brain playing tricks on him. 

It’s not until the end that Matteo learns what’s really going on, and he immediately feels so stupid for overreacting over something that doesn’t really change anything about the situation. Whether David has a girlfriend or not, has no impact on whether he and Matteo could work out. They’ve never even talked.

But turns out, there really was no need to react the way he did. 

David gets up from his stool, and speaks into the microphone. ‘Thanks, everyone. Please give my wonderful sister another round of applause, because my songs are never anywhere near as cool as when she plays with me, so make some noise for Laura!’ 

While the bar erupts into applause per David’s request, Matteo rolls his eyes at himself. His _sister_ , that’s his _sister_. He’s so stupid, and, he realizes then, in way too deep over someone he really doesn’t know at all. 

Still, he feels more relieved than he probably should, considering everything. 

***

_May 5th, 23:32_

‘Today I’m asking you to consider donating to an organisation that helps transgender youth here in Berlin. They really helped me when I first came out, so I know firsthand how important organisations like this one are. There will be a collection box on the counter for those interested. That’s all I wanted to say. Enjoy, I guess.’

Before going home, Matteo searches his pockets for cash and donates the little money he can find. He doesn’t sleep that night, though, too busy reading article upon article researching what it means to be transgender. 

A few days later, he returns to the bar, just as in awe as he was at the beginning. 

***

_May 14th, 00:04_

It is a Friday night and Matteo has convinced his boys to hang out at another bar than usual. They don’t hang out as much as they’d like to now that everyone’s busy being a student or working or both, but they try to hang out all four of them together at least once a month, which they’ve actually managed to see through. 

Matteo loves his friends, he really does, but right now he’s starting to regret bringing them here. Normally, there’d be no problem. The bar has a nice ambiance and the music is always good. The beer is cheap, too, which might be the most important argument to a bunch of broke uni students. 

Today, though… Today David has decided to go a slightly different way with his music, and Matteo isn’t prepared to deal with that in the slightest. At least not while his boys keep trying to talk to him and expect him to participate. 

David’s songs always have great melody and beautiful lyrics that seem to speak straight to Matteo’s heart, be it sad or happy, and he’s gotten used to that. Today, though, he’s singing a few new songs. A few new, _sexy_ songs and Matteo is far from being equipped to deal with this. 

He’s standing upright today, his guitar hanging from a strap around his neck and he’s using the mic in a way that shouldn’t be allowed. His voice is deeper when he sings the words and he’s not smiling, but looking at the crowd with a smoulder in his eyes. At one point he growls and Matteo thinks he’s going to burst into flames right then and there. 

Is it really that unexpected, then, that he’s not able to listen to Abdi talking about his internship, that he can’t even really tear his eyes away from David doing his thing. 

He’s snapped out of his fixation by Jonas clasping him on the shoulder. ‘Boys, I think I figured out why Luigi wanted to come here.’ 

Abdi stops talking and turns his gaze upon Matteo. 

Matteo pretends to frown in confusion, which would be more effective if he couldn’t feel himself blushing at the same time. 

All three of them look at him like they can see right through his attempts. ‘What do you mean, Jonas?’, Carlos asks, never tearing his gaze from Matteo’s face and looking way more serious than this situation asks for. 

Jonas just points to David with the beer bottle he’s holding, guiding Carlos and Abdi’s gaze. 

Abdi looks confused, but Carlos gets it immediately. He nods, again, way too seriously. ‘I see.’ 

‘What do you see?’, Abdi asks, and Matteo thinks he’s the only one he’s ever going to talk to again. 

‘Matteo has a crush on the singer.’ 

‘I don’t have a crush on David’, Matteo mumbles.

‘ _David_ , huh?’, Jonas jumps on that, like it somehow means something that he knows his name.

‘He literally says his name before every show.’

‘You can’t fool us, Matteo, you’ve been staring at him ever since we walked in.’ 

‘I don’t know what you mean’, he tries, but the boys pay him no mind. 

‘Good looking guy. Our Luigi has taste.’

‘Are you gay, too, Jonas?’

‘No, but, you know, I can tell when a guy is handsome, that doesn’t mean anything.’ 

‘Yeah, Carlos, don’t be a dick, we only want the hottest guys for Matteo.’ 

Jonas turns to Matteo, asking: ‘Come on, Luigi, I know I’m right.’

Matteo rolls his eyes and decides not to answer, which is apparently answer enough. 

‘I knew it! I’m totally right! Talented guy, I like it.’ 

Matteo rolls his eyes again. ‘I guess he’s not bad-looking’, he finally mumbles, deciding to give them _something_. If nothing else, their excitement is endearing. 

Abdi actually bangs a fist on the table at that. ‘Oh, my God, that’s basically Luigi speak for he’s the love of my life.’ 

‘That’s _not_ what it means!’, he tries to diffuse the situation, but at that exact time David decides to look at him and growl something in the mic about fingers and lips and hands and yeah. Matteo is done for. He holds his gaze during the whole chorus and then, right before averting his gaze, he winks one last time and Matteo is basically on the floor at this point. 

Without David’s eyes on him, Matteo can finally take in his surrounding again and notice his friends going crazy around him. 

‘Luigi, did you see that? Digga, did you see that?’

‘He was looking right at you, what the fuck!’ 

‘Yeah, man, and he totally winked at you, too.’ 

That’s Carlos and Abdi. Jonas is just laughing and nodding along to whatever the two others are saying.

‘Matteo, you need to get in there! When’s the last time you got some?’ 

Matteo knows Carlos means well, but Carlos also knows that Matteo really doesn’t regularly ‘get some’ and that the last time he did ‘get some’ was about a year ago when he was casually dating some guy from uni for a few months. He’s not in the habit of hooking up with random guys. 

Jonas is at the side enthusiastically nodding along. Traitor. 

‘I can’t do that.’

‘Matteo, you’re handsome and you’re funny and anyone would be lucky to have you, okay?’

Matteo snorts at how serious Abdi looks. ‘Thanks, _mom,_ but I meant that he always leave right after he performs, so I literally cannot do that.’ 

‘Oh.’ Matteo hates to crush his friends’ spirit, but sometimes it just can’t be helped. 

It gets him thinking, though. Maybe he’s not imagining the tension when David looks at him. Maybe he’s not just looking because he’s a performer, but maybe there’s something about Matteo that entices him as much as David does Matteo.

It’s not a bad thought.

***

_May 24th, 23:48_

It’s only a few weeks later that he finally gets an answer to his musings. It feels like Matteo’s been waiting for this forever and simultaneously he does not feel prepared in the least. 

He’s long given up on only coming when he can’t fall asleep, and instead opts for regularly coming when he knows he can sleep in the next day. It might be a bit creepy, he thinks, to be pining like this over someone he barely knows, but he’s in too deep now to take a step back. 

He’s a bit low on energy today, content to calmly watch the performance and nursing a beer in the corner. 

But of course it’s today out of all days that David decides to break his routine. He thanks the crowd for listening, packs up his guitar before going out the door next to the bar. Nothing surprising there. But then, after a few minutes in which Matteo finishes his beer and contemplates going home, the door opens and David. Comes back out. 

When he then takes a seat next to Matteo, leaving the stool in-between the two empty, and orders a beer with a smile and gets one back as if he’s known the woman tending the bar since forever, Matteo feels like he’s dreaming. 

Everything in Matteo is screaming to turn around and observe David from closer up, but he’s suddenly so nervous. He can’t believe the man he’s been pathetically pining after from afar for weeks now, is right here sitting next to him, close enough to talk to, close enough to _touch_. It doesn’t feel quite real. 

Remembering his friends’ comments and imagining their disappointment if he were to tell them he had a chance to ‘get in there’, and that he didn’t take it, he takes a deep breath, messes up his bangs a bit, rolls his eyes at the useless attempt to make himself look better, and turns in his seat.

David is holding his beer bottle, sitting with his back to the counter and observing the people enjoying themselves. He looks so cool and collected, Matteo is scared to disturb him. He hopes David doesn’t turn out to be some asshole. That would really ruin his whole thing and Matteo’s become pretty dependent on the music in order to fall asleep. 

‘Good show’, Matteo says after a long moment of hesitation, in which he almost backs out three times. 

David turns his head Matteo’s direction and having his dark eyes on him from closer up is really doing something to Matteo’s stomach. It’s one thing to do this from a distance as part of a performance, although even then Matteo’s come close to needing a breather many times, but this is something else. 

From this close, Matteo can clearly see the flush on David’s cheeks, the heat inside the bar getting to him. He’s not exactly smiling, but there’s a spark of something that resembles amusement in his eyes. 

He nods once. ‘Thanks.’ And then takes a sip of his beer. For a moment, Matteo is sure David’s going to keep it at that, and he’ll have the choice of either saying something else and risking David thinking he’s pushy, either not saying anything and maybe blowing the only chance at conversation he’s ever going to have with David. 

Luckily, before he can talk himself into a panic, David has lowered his beer already. ‘I’ve seen you around here before’, he says, his voice as smooth as ever. Matteo wants to feel it against his skin. 

‘Good beer’, Matteo answers, hoping he’s not making a fool of himself. He’s never been too good at flirting. 

David’s eyes flick to the bottle Matteo is holding, and gives a tiny smile when he sees the label of what is notoriously Berlin’s cheapest beer, but also more importantly, the grossest beer. He turns his eyes upwards again. ‘I’m sure.’ 

Matteo shrugs. 

David downs the last of his fancier beer, sets it on the counter, and stands up, but doesn’t leave. Instead, he comes to stand in front of Matteo with a question in his eyes. 

‘Wanna get out of here?’, David asks with a dangerous sparkle in his eyes, eyebrows raised, daring Matteo to move. 

‘Where to?’ 

‘It’s a surprise.’ 

It doesn’t take Matteo longer than a few seconds of looking at David to make up his mind. He must be half siren or something, because then Matteo is following this person who’s basically a stranger into the Berlin night, no clue where he’s going to end up, and not really caring either, as long as he gets to keep looking into David’s brown eyes. 

***

_May 25th, 00:54_

They’re both on their bike, David’s a sleek black one next to the one Matteo’s had for ages, but won’t change until it proves to not being useful anymore. They’ve barely gone for five minutes and Matteo is already tempted to ask David to slow down just a little bit. He can do this for now, but he can’t keep it up for very long without getting visibly tired and that’s just not attractive to anyone. 

‘So, what’s your name?’, David asks then. 

‘Matteo. You’re David, right?’

‘Been paying attention, have you?’ David asks with a teasing smile, like Matteo knowing his name is that much of a special feat, but Matteo’s starting to realize maybe David just enjoys teasing him any way he can. Not that Matteo is complaining.

‘So, are you in the habit of taking men you don’t know the name of with you after a show?’ Because he just can’t resist giving back a little.

David turns his face to Matteo and smiles, before saying: ‘Only the cute ones’, and biking off faster than Matteo can easily follow. 

He stops not a minute later in front of a nightshop, throwing his bike against the wall and waiting for Matteo to do the same. ‘I’m starving. Thought we could get something to eat.’ 

And now that he thinks about it, Matteo realizes he hasn’t anything eaten in a good few hours, either. ‘Sounds good.’

They enter the brightly lit, little shop with a creaking door. It’s packed full with containers and tins, two large freezers in the middle. The lights overhead are buzzing. Behind the counter a man busy on his phone briefly nods at them when they walk in before lowering his eyes to the screen again. 

Matteo grabs a bag of crisps and some sodas, while David is, unexpectedly, on the other side of the small shop getting fruit and some candy. Figures someone as fast on his bike as David leads a healthy life. Matteo would feel a mix of intimidated if it wasn’t for the candy. Multitudes and all that. 

They both pay for their food silently, but somehow it doesn’t feel loaded. It feels a bit like the silence between him and Jonas, like they understand each other well enough to just be. 

Once outside, Matteo puts his plastic back on his handlebar and waits for David to do the same. ‘So?’

David doesn’t answer, just gets on his bike and raises his eyebrows.

‘So, where are you taking me?’ 

‘It’s a secret. You ready?’ 

For one brief moment, Matteo is wondering if this is such a good idea after all. He thinks of what Hans would say and takes out his phone. ‘I’m just sending my roommate a message saying where I’m going. You know. In case you try to kill me and he needs to call the police.’ 

David huffs out a laugh but he doesn’t seem bothered. ‘Might be smart. Although, if I’d try to kill you it wouldn’t be like this.’ 

Matteo sends the message and puts his phone back in his pocket. ‘Yeah? Thought about it, have you?’ 

‘Of course’, David replies, leaning on the handlebars of his bike, and peering at Matteo from underneath those long lashes. ‘I have many plans for you.’ And the way he says it, the voice he uses, makes Matteo think he actually means something else. He feels his whole body burning up at the the thought. ‘But I wouldn’t do it tonight. Too easy. I want a challenge.’ 

David’s eyes are lit up under the streetlights and he’s smiling slightly, sending sparks straight to Matteo’s stomach. It’s ridiculous to feel this much over someone you’ve essentially just met, isn’t it? He can’t get himself to care. Not right now, while he’s here looking into David’s eyes, who looks so beautiful, and while Matteo feels more at peace with him than he’s felt around most people in his life. 

Matteo stands up and gets ready to bike. ‘Lead the way then?’ 

***

_May 25th, 01:37_

And David does lead the way, into a part of Berlin Matteo isn’t familiar with. It doesn’t look like much. Quiet streets, with shabby-looking houses and no establishments of any kind. It’s very quiet, the opposite of a place Matteo would expect a musician to take him, his mind immediately flashing to wilder, more adventurous places. 

He doesn’t think he minds, though, when at one point they take a street that goes upward, and even the few houses disappear, making place for trees and street lights, and what look like old factory buildings. 

‘You sure I’m not in danger right now?’ There’s something about David that Matteo trust inexplicably, but even he can’t deny this is starting to look very suspicious. Judging by the biceps Matteo has seen David use on his guitar, it’s obvious that Matteo would not win in a fight if it came down to that, but now he’s distracted thinking of other things David would be able to do with those biceps when it comes to Matteo and he has to fight to stay focused. 

David doesn’t answer, simply looks back at Matteo with a small smile before turning right and coming to a halt. He jumps off his bike and sets it against a wall, before turning back to Matteo with stretched arms. ‘Ta-da.’ 

Matteo takes a bit longer getting from his bike, too busy taking in what he’s seeing. Behind what is an old brick building, crumbling in places, is an open space looking over a part of Berlin Matteo knows all too well. There’s no ledge or anything, just an open space elevated above the city in a way that seems like it should be classified as a safety hazard.

The city lights are visible from here, twinkling in the night and the sounds of the city reach just far enough to touch them, faint but soothing, like ocean waves against rocks. 

The old brick building is filled with art from people passing by, bringing color to this place, secluded enough to spray without fear. Weeds have grown out of the crack. 

It’s messy, but beautiful. A place forgotten by the city and its inhabitants, turning itself into something worth seeing all by itself. 

‘So, what’s here?’, Matteo can’t help asking, because while it has its own special kind of charm, it’s still a bit of a weird place to take someone you’ve just met. 

‘We are’, David answers with a tilt of his head. 

‘Are you just never going to give me a straight answer?’ 

David frowns exaggeratedly while he unties the plastic bag from his bike. ‘Straight? Matteo, please, I expected better of you.’ 

The way David says his name, like it comes naturally, is a lot, so Matteo mirrors his actions and joins David on the patch of grass where he’s sitting crossed-legs. ‘How do you know I’m not straight? Bold of you to assume my sexuality.’ 

David raises his eyebrows and looks at Matteo in a way that makes him want to avert his eyes, like he’s looking straight into the sun, but there’s a challenge in his eyes, too and Matteo doesn’t want to back down. ‘Straight guys don’t usually blush when I sing to them.’ 

Matteo wishes he were half as smooth as David is. Maybe then he’d know of something to say that isn’t a fumbling and weird attempt at shrugging. It makes David laugh, though, so maybe he isn’t completely useless at this. He’s embarrassed but David’s laugh doesn’t feel mocking or cruel. It sounds like the laugh of someone laughing _with you_ , like Matteo is in on the joke and they’re sharing this moment. 

‘Here.’ He says then, taking the little pack of vampire teeth candy out of the plastic bag, opening it and holding it out to Matteo. ‘Peace offering?’ 

Matteo gladly takes one, happy to have something to do besides staring at David like a fool. He puts it between his upper lip and gums, before smiling and wiggling his eyebrows like he used to do every time when he was younger. It makes David laugh again, and he figures he doesn’t have to be as smooth as him if he can keep making him laugh. 

‘Very scary.’

He lets the candy fall from where it’s stuck and pops it in his mouth instead. ‘I know, right? Maybe _you_ should be worried instead of me.’

David looks him up and down with a small smile still stuck on his face, before setting his eyes back on Matteo’s face. ‘I’ll take my chances.’ 

He shrugs. ‘Your funeral.’ 

‘I saw you bike upwards, I think I’m good.’ 

Matteo presses a hand to his chest in faux-offence. ‘If you brought me here just to bully me we could’ve stayed at the bar, you know.’ 

David smiles again and Matteo can’t enough. ‘No, but more seriously, this is my favorite place in the city, I think. I thought you’d appreciate it, too.’

And that’s a sobering thought, that somehow David took a look at Matteo and decided he wanted to show him a place that is important to him, a place he loves. ‘I do. It’s nice.’ 

‘And for what it’s worth, I don’t sing my songs to anyone else.’

***

_May 25th, 02:15_

‘Do you believe in aliens?’

Matteo is looking up at the stars when David asks him. The spot is secluded enough that they can see some of it, but it’s still a poor excuse for a starry night. He’s reminded of the nights he spent camping around his grandparents’ place in Italy with his cousin, and how the sky there had almost overwhelmed him. He misses it, and them. ‘Yeah, of course. Do you?’ 

He turns his head to catch David nodding, and elaborates. ‘I don’t understand how you can not? Like the universe is literally infinite. How self-centered do you have to be to truly believe we’re the only ones here? That’s fucked up.’ 

He hears David laugh next to him. ‘That’s what I always say! What do you think they look like?’ 

‘I don’t know. Could look like anything.’ 

‘Do you think they look like us?’ 

Matteo shrugs. ‘Maybe. To them we’d be the aliens.’ 

‘Sometimes I feel like one even here.’ 

Matteo stays quiet for a moment. Tries to rearrange his thoughts. ‘Like no matter how much you try, you’ll never truly fit in?’ 

He hears David turn to him and follows to do the same. He’s looking at Matteo with big eyes, a bit sad, but there’s something else there, too. Some kind of relief. Maybe he feels as seen as Matteo does. 

In the end David just nods. ‘Anyway, if aliens ever came to earth, are you one of those people that would try to fuck one?’ 

It’s so unexpected Matteo snorts louder than expected. He almost wants to say something along the lines of _if they look like you, then yes_ but he thinks that might be taking it a bit too far. 

***

_May 25th, 02:56_

Matteo is laughing before David is done with his story. ‘And after that I wasn’t allowed in the kitchen anymore. My sister has forbidden me.’

Matteo is maybe too delighted to know about something David isn’t good at, to hear about little flaws in his seemingly perfect code. It makes him feel a little bit better about his own insecurities, and for some reason, only manages to endear Matteo even more to David and everything about him. ‘How can you mess up that bad?’

David just shrugs, a glint of amusement in his eyes when he looks at Matteo gasping for air, despite the fact that he’s clearly trying to act as if the situation isn’t _that_ funny. ‘Nobody got hurt, so I don’t think I’m that much of a disaster.’ 

‘Oh, if that’s what it takes I must be a five star chef.’ 

At this David looks at him again, a quieter expression on his face, giving Matteo all his attention in a way Matteo isn’t used to. ‘You cook?’

‘I’m okay. Make a killer pasta, though.’ 

‘Yeah?’

‘I’m half Italian. I have to, it’s in our blood’, Matteo answers, doing the stereotypical Italian chef gesture, bringing the tips of his fingers to his mouth and kissing them. 

David laughs again, which is rapidly moving up to being one of Matteo’s favorite sounds, right under David’s singing. He doesn’t say anything, though, like he’s just waiting for Matteo to continue talking. He’s not used to his words being waited on, like they’re precious enough to be given time to grow and make their way out. He didn’t even think he _had_ anything to say, but apparently when he’s given the space he does. ‘My grandmother taught my mom, who’s German, and _she_ then taught me, so I guess it’s really a mixture between Italian and the things my mom added, but --’ He shrugs. 

‘What about your dad? He’s the Italian one then, right?’ He must see something on Matteo’s face at the mention of his father, because he quickly backtracks. ‘Sorry, you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.’

Matteo shrugs. He doesn’t mind talking about it too much, even though it can bring down his mood a bit, but he’s always at the risk of that, and it often takes less than the mention of his father. ‘It’s fine. There’s not much to say. He’s just an asshole who fucked off to Italy and left his teenage son to care for his mentally ill mother.’ 

He brought down the mood, but David doesn’t seem to mind. ‘That’s really shitty.’ 

‘Yeah’, Matteo laughs. ‘It was hard for a while, but things are okay now.’

David just nods. ’You’ll have to make me some pasta sometimes, then.’ 

‘Get ready to be blown away.’ 

‘Oh, I’m ready’, David answers, with a look that’s a bit too intense for the words he’s saying. 

***

_May 25th, 03:27_

‘Do you believe in God?’

Matteo thinks of going to church on Sundays with his mom and the fascination at the people around him, the music and the building. He thinks of how scared he was to come out to his mom, too, also because of those people, but how she immediately accepted him without question. He thinks of praying in moments of desperation, while in the same breath cursing whatever higher power put him in this miserable position. ‘Depends on the day.’ That makes David breathe out a laugh. ‘You?’

‘No’, he answers, resolutely, so sure in every way Matteo isn’t. ‘Everything in my life I fought for myself.’ 

***

_May 25th, 04:00_

‘How did you find this place, anyway?’, Matteo asks at one point. It’s been quiet for a while now, a comfortable kind of quiet that somehow always makes Matteo feel closer to the person he’s sharing it with. He’s been looking around a bit more, wondering about how this place came to be, who’s been here before, what stories the graffiti on the walls hold. 

David follows Matteo gaze to a big image of a figure with a hood pulled up over their head, crouching down, face twisted in emotion. 

‘I used to wander around a lot when I was younger. Just wanting to get out of the house, but not really having a place to go.’

Matteo is familiar with the feeling of having nowhere to go, but more than anything wanting a place that feels like home. Half of the reason he stumbled upon the bar in the first place was because he felt like the silence was suffocating. He doesn’t answer immediately, not knowing how to tell David that he gets it without turning the conversation back to him, without coming on too strong. 

David huffs, and shakes his head still looking at the wall. ‘I was pretty angsty back then, he says, turning to set his gaze on Matteo’s face.

Maybe he doesn’t have to say he gets it, he’s sure it’s written all over his face. ‘I’ve heard your songs. I think you’re still pretty angsty.’

David laughs at that, loud and sudden, like he wasn’t expecting Matteo to say that. Matteo feels stupidly proud. ‘No, now I’m an artist in touch with his emotions, obviously. Then I was a kid looking for places to practice my emo street art in peace.’ 

At that, Matteo perks up. ‘You used to tag?’ 

David humms affirmatively. ‘In fact, that one’, he points at the hooded figure Matteo was looking at before, ‘is mine.’ 

At the admission, Matteo takes a closer look at the image, at the face of the person. The part that’s visible is twisted in a pain so visceral, he feels it in his chest, reminiscent of some of his worst days, where all he can do is smoke and try to drown out the rest.

‘It’s so sad.’ 

David is silent for a moment. ‘My sister says I look angry.’ There’s something behind his words that Matteo picks up on, but can’t decipher. 

‘Yeah, I can see that but... There’s just something about the eyes.’ He looks away from the drawing, looks at David instead, who has a serious look on his face, calculating and like he wants to crawl into Matteo’s head to see what’s going on up there. Suddenly he feels a little embarrassed. Who is he to talk about David’s art, something very close to his heart judging by how he’s looking at it. ‘But I don’t know, you’re the artist’, he trails off. 

David shakes his head. ‘Art is open to interpretation, that’s what I love about it.’

It’s a sentiment Matteo has heard before, but it’s never sounded genuine until now. Teachers loved to tell him art is open to interpretation, while in the same breath imposing their ideas on him. But when David says it, it feels like Matteo truly has the freedom to make of it what he wants.

‘But between us, I was mostly sad when I made that. It was when I first came out’, he looks at Matteo with eyebrows raised as if asking if he’s following. He has the memory of David talking about the community helping trans youth in Berlin from a few weeks back, so he nods. ‘And I had a hard time at home, and school was hell too. Just bad times all around. I pretended to be so angry, but —‘ he shakes his head again. ‘I was mostly just very sad, you’re right.’

Matteo doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just bumps his shoulders against David’s. He seems happy to be have Matteo understand him, and it’s all Matteo can give him right now. 

They’re quiet for a moment, the only sound the cars down below and their breathing mixed in with the soft wind against their skin. Then, ‘I’ve never brought anyone here before.’ 

He’s aware of the fact that he’s only hung out with David once, but there’s something there already. Something that tells him this will turn into something bigger, stronger than he can anticipate right now. Something that tells him as long as David is by his side, maybe the world doesn’t seem as large and intimidating, that maybe he never has to be alone again. 

It’s sappy and ridiculous and too embarrassing to say aloud. He doesn’t want to come on too strong. Nothing he could do to jeopardize this thing that seems to be growing stronger with every passing minute, every word said. 

***

_May 25th, 04:12_

‘I noticed you never sing love songs.’ 

David turns his head from where they’re lying on the ground, looking at the stars. ‘Maybe I’ve never been in love.’ 

***

_May 25th, 04:51_

Matteo is laughing, has been laughing for ten minutes at least. He can’t remember the last he felt this light. 

‘Come on, your coordination can’t be that bad’, David teases, eyebrows raised. 

Matteo squints his eyes at him, resolving to take this seriously. How hard can it be to catch a cashew in his mouth. People do it every day. _David_ does it like it’s absolutely nothing, even when Matteo messes up and throws it far from where it’s supposed to go. 

‘Okay, throw.’ 

David raises his eyebrows again, holding one of the cashews up and exaggerating his movements before he lets it go, still making fun of Matteo’s incompetence when it comes to this game. Matteo moves before he can think about it and -- ‘Yes!’ 

He feels too proud. David is clapping and celebrating with him, so he can’t get himself to care. He can’t get himself to care about most things in his presence, he realizes. Like it can really be this easy to just _be_ , without explanation, without worrying and fretting, without feeling the need to act like someone else. ‘Amazing, I’m so proud’, David says and he’s clearly joking, but it still hits a delicate spot for Matteo, people actually being proud of him, verbally acknowledging his worth. The words catch in his throat. 

David must see something on his face, because his wide laugh turns into something a bit smaller, a bit softer and more meaningful. He doesn’t say anything, but gives Matteo enough time to compose himself. 

‘Throw one at me now’, he says after a while, and Matteo gladly obliges. David moves fast and works well with his reflexes and it moves something hot in Matteo’s belly.

He catches it, of course he does. Smiles wide again.

***

_May 25th, 05:12_

‘Honestly, I feel like everything inspires me. The people in my life, things that happen to me, things I read about. It’s not just one thing.’ 

Matteo makes a noise that he’s listening, but he’s far from being an artist so he can’t really imagine the way David’s mind works, not that he doesn’t find it fascinating. 

‘Maybe I’ll write a song about you sometimes.’ 

And this also turns Matteo speechless, but for another reason entirely. ‘I’ll hold you to that.’ 

Then he sits up, suddenly Matteo realizing something. ‘Hey, where’s your guitar?’ 

David laughs at his confusion. ‘You just noticed I don’t have it with me?’

Matteo shrugs. ‘I was preoccupied by other things.’ 

David tilts his head, but doesn’t comment. ‘I left it at the bar. My godmother owns it.’ 

‘Louise is your godmother?’ 

‘Yeah! That’s why she lets me play.’

Matteo loves Louise. After the first few times he’d shown up, she’d memorised his name and even gave him free olives and crisps, sometimes. Little things like that. He’s also sure she knows about his crush on David as she always gives him very knowing looks when he’s watching his set. He wasn’t really embarrassed about it before, but now that he knows she’s David’s _godmother,_ it suddenly feels a bit different. 

‘Does she pay you?’ 

David snorts. ‘No, and I don’t want her to. The occasional donation boxes are enough for me.’ 

‘Why do you it then if not for the money?’

‘I don’t know, I just like having an extra creative outlet. It’s really rewarding seeing people react to my art immediately’, he answers after a moment. 

‘Is it what you want to do with your life?’ 

‘No, not really.’ 

‘What then?’ Matteo feels a little annoying asking so many questions, but David doesn’t seem to mind and he wants to understand David as much as he can, understand what makes him him, what his dreams are, aspirations. 

It’s a good question, though, apparently, because David looks at him with a big smile before answering, ‘I want to make films.’ 

‘That’s really cool.’

‘What about you?’ 

And isn’t that the question. ‘I don’t really know yet. I’m in uni for programming, but... ‘, he trails off with a shrug. 

‘That’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out.’

***

_May 25th, 05:56_

Matteo rakes his brain for something to ask that’s not too obvious like what’s your favorite color or favorite meal. It seems like a weird thing to try to impress someone with the ability to ask good questions, but Matteo doesn’t have much else to go for him. ‘Secret talent?’ 

David pops a cherry in his mouth from the plastic box they’d opened a few questions back. ‘Tying cherry stems with my tongue.’ 

‘Really?’ 

‘No’, David sighs regretfully. ‘I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t work. Wish I could, though. I could be so cool.’ Matteo thinks he’s already cool enough without this seemingly useless skill to have. ‘And I _know_ I’m a good kisser, I don’t need a fucking cherry stem to validate me, but it annoys the hell out of me regardless.’

A lot of emotions are erupting inside Matteo all at once. There’s amusement at David’s obvious frustration, the need to tease him about his annoyance, and on top of all that, a fire being lit at the thought of David supposedly being a good kisser. ‘Cocky, are you?’ 

‘It’s not cocky if it’s true. You’ll see.’ 

And that’s officially too much for Matteo. You’ll see? Does that means he’s planning on kissing Matteo, or is he reading too much into that? It seems pretty straight forward, but he doesn’t want to risk getting his hopes and having them squashed later when actually, no, of course David doesn’t like him. How could he when he’s Like That, and Matteo is just. Matteo. 

David doesn’t seem to take note of Matteo’s inner turmoil, or maybe he does and he’s just too nice to comment. ‘Can you do it?’ 

It takes him a few seconds to remember what they were talking about, his mind fuzzy with thoughts of more exciting things. ‘The cherry thing?’ 

David nods. 

Matteo shrugs again. ‘I’ve never tried.’ 

David shoves the packet of cherries a bit closer to Matteo. ‘Try.’ 

Matteo hesitates for a moment, before saying fuck it and doing it. At least, if he fails, he won’t be the only one here. 

He pulls off one of the stems and pops it in his mouth. He moves it around a bit, not sure how to go about it, before he finds a rhythm. It takes about twenty seconds, before he sticks out his tongue with a perfectly tied cherry stem on the tip of it.

David frowns at the sight. ‘How did you do that? On your first try, what the fuck?’

Matteo puts one hand in front of his stomach and pretends to take a bow, making David laugh. He smiles cheekily, and before he can stop himself from embarrassing himself with his weird attempts at flirting, he says: ‘Guess I’m just really good with my tongue.’ 

David’s eyes darken at that, and the look he gives Matteo raises goosebumps on his arms. ‘Are you, now? How do I know it’s not just beginner’s luck?’

Matteo shrugs, takes another cherry stem and in even less time than on his first try, he sticks out his tongue with a perfectly tied knot on it. 

David shakes his head like he almost can’t believe it, but he’s smiling, which feels safer than whatever he had going on before. At least when it comes to Matteo’s insides. ‘You’re a natural.’ 

Matteo shrugs in response, and throws a look at the mural before looking at the artist, and thinks of his beautiful voice and the fact that he wants to make films, that he writes all his songs by himself. ‘You’re a natural everything. I have to have _something_ going for me.’

***

_May 25th, 06:23_

The rising sun comes as a surprise to Matteo. He’s been so engrossed in David and every word he has to say, every gesture he makes, that he had completely forgotten about the concept of passing time. From where they’re sitting, they have a perfect view of the sun slowly lighting up the very edge of the city, filling it in like a picture book. 

David looks so beautiful with the light gently reflecting off his skin, his eyes back to that warm brown he’d noticed under the light of the bar. His nose ring catches the light and his smile stretches slow, mirrors the rising sun. Matteo’s seen many a sunrise, but none as sweet as this one. 

He pulls out his phone for the first time in hours and is greeted with a text from Hans from hours ago, answering his own with both a promise to call the police if he didn’t show sign of life in the next 24 hours, and a string of winky faces wishing him a good night. It makes him smile, and simultaneously yanks him back into the real world, popping the bubble this place has been enveloped in since they arrived. 

David must see him looking, because his smile slips a little bit, into something smaller, but just as genuine. ‘We should maybe start heading back.’ 

Matteo nods regretfully. He’d love to continue ignoring the outside world to stay here forever, learn to know David in and out, but thinking about it he thinks they definitely should get something besides the small snacks in their stomach. And no matter how much he’s not thinking of his responsibilities right now, life is still happening. Matteo himself has an essay due tomorrow evening for which he only has an outline written, and he doesn’t even know what things David has going on in his life. 

He’s a little bit afraid that now that the night is over, this thing between them has come to its end. That they’ll both bike on home, going their separate ways, David leaving behind a trail of regret and longing, while he himself goes onto the next chapter of his life. Matteo really doesn’t want this to end.

Maybe something shows on Matteo’s face, or maybe David is thinking the same thing, because the moment the thought hits Matteo full force, he says: ‘Here, give me your phone.’ 

Matteo unlocks it before handing it over without really thinking about it. David takes it from him, tapping some things, before he hands it back. ‘Now you have my number. I sent myself a message, so I have yours too.’ 

‘Oh’, Matteo breathes out. 

David tilts his head, tries to catch Matteo’s eye. ‘I’d like to see you again, Matteo.’ 

Matteo sighs. He didn’t know he was so afraid of the opposite until he feels the relief filling his body. ‘Oh, that’s… good.’ 

David looks amused again, which seems to be his default setting when it comes to Matteo fumbling his way through what he wants to say. He much prefers it to annoyance or impatience. It feels _so_ good to have someone treat him gently like that, and he doesn’t what he would’ve done if David had told him this was it. ‘Good?’ 

‘Yeah. I want to see you again, too.’ 

‘Well, that is good, then’, he answers with a little smile. ‘Let me bike you home?’

***

_May 25th, 07:01_

And he does. Bike him home. Matteo feels inexplicably charmed by it. Starts to understand the appeal of chivalry. 

He bikes him all the way home, gets off his own bike when Matteo locks his against the fence in front of his apartment building. This is the moment Matteo expects the night to end, but no, David walks all the way up to Matteo’s doorstep until they’re both just standing there, feeling the particular heat of a day’s first sunshine. 

The streets are completely empty, no cars, no bikers, no pedestrians. It truly feels like it’s just the two of them alive to experience the blooming of a new day. 

Matteo’s seen David under the artificial light of a bar at nighttime. He’s seen him with his skin lit up in fragments by street lights flashing by. He’s seen him under the light of a sunrise. All of those pulled on a different one of Matteo’s heart strings. But his favorite light is the daylight. The sun is turning David into a sight as warm and lovely as its own rays. His whole face is on display, the smoothness, the small flaws here and there that only serve to make him more perfectly real in Matteo’s eyes. The attractive color of his lips and pink glow of his cheeks. The reddish brown streaks in his otherwise very black hair. The shadow his lashes paint against the high of his cheekbones. 

He can’t believe he’s allowed to openly look at him, can’t believe David is looking back at him the same way, like he can’t believe Matteo is real. 

He’s never had anyone look at him like he was something wondrous. His chest feels so big, so full. His skin is buzzing. 

He’s so lost in thought that he almost misses the soft way David asks ‘Can I kiss you?’, almost forgets to nod, but then there are warm lips against his own, soft and quick, but long enough to kick up Matteo’s heartbeat. 

When he pulls away, they look at each for one two three seconds before Matteo puts a hand on David’s neck and kisses him again, longer this time. 

It’s the softest, sweetest way Matteo’s ever been kissed, which is weird because he’s kissed people he’s known way longer than David. Not that there are many, but still. David’s lips move against his own like he knows what Matteo looks like on the inside, at his worst, and when he’s happy, and chooses to kiss him, chooses to show him all the tenderness he has because he thinks Matteo is worthy of it.

David leaves soon after that, with not much more than a _bye, Matteo_ , his name so sweet on his lips, and a quick kiss on his cheek. Matteo watches him ride off with one last wink, like a dream, like a fragment of Matteo’s imagination. But he’s not, because now Matteo has a new contact in his phone _David *vampire teeth emoji* *cherry emoji* *guitar emoji*_ and the reminder of his kiss still hot against his skin. 

He goes inside and spends at least five minutes with his forehead plastered against the front door just grinning. 

***

_July 27th, 22:44_

He’s back at the bar. He’s been back at the bar multiple time since That Night, in between coffee dates and dinner dates and park dates and pasta dates and many other kinds of dates, he’s been back here. Just because David is his boyfriend now doesn’t mean he still isn’t in love with his voice and the words he sings. Really, he’s in love with pretty much all of David, not that he’s said as much out loud. 

He knows his schedule by heart now, doesn’t have to guess about when he’ll be performing. Another perk of their arrangement is the fact that he now gets about three times more free drinks and snacks from Louise. 

Sometimes he still shows up when he can’t sleep, without warning David, just to surprise him and see that smile spread over his face lightning fast when he steps through the door. 

This isn’t one of those nights, though. This one’s been planned for a while. He’s sitting at a table with the boys, reminiscent of another time, except this time Amira, Mohammed and Hanna are here, too. David’s met all his friends over the two months they’ve been together, and Matteo’s met his. Unsurprisingly they all loved him, and he’s slowly been making his way into his friendship group, getting added to group chats here and there until he’s slowly starting to truly be part of the squad.

He met Matteo’s mom, too, the first one of the people Matteo’s dated that’s come that far, and she fell in love with him as much as Matteo had. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this happy. 

The song David is singing is coming to an end, and by now Matteo can guess it’s one of the last ones for today. He was laughing at something Abdi said, listening with half an ear to the song David’s been singing. It’s one he’s heard before, but now that it’s done and it looks like he’s about to say something, Matteo turns all his attention on his boyfriend. 

He’s always a little mesmerized at the way David is so sure of himself when he’s off stage, making Matteo flustered with every gesture, and how at ease he looks playing his music for everyone, but then once he starts talking in between songs, he always looks a little embarrassed. Immediately gets a faint flush high on his cheekbones, one Matteo knows all too well. 

He brings a hand through his hair, letting out a nervous laugh before saying into the mic: ‘The next song is a new one. My uh’, he seeks out Matteo’s gaze in the crowd, smiles before continuing, ‘my boyfriend is here tonight.’ He smiles at the jeers coming from the patrons, Matteo’s friends being the loudest of them all. ‘He asked me once why I never write love songs, and I told him it’s because I’d never been in love before. And, Matteo, I don’t know if you remember, but I also promised I’d write a song about you someday, so I guess this is two for one. I hope you like it.’

He’s blushing a bit, gives Matteo one last smile before turning to his guitar and strumming a sweet melody. Jonas is jostling his shoulder, and Matteo almost doesn’t understand what’s going on, but then David winks at him and it shoots understanding throughout him so fast he’s dizzy from it. 

‘ _I would shun the light, share in evening's cool and quiet. Who would trade that hum of night for Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.’_

Matteo is too busy feeling whatever’s going on inside his chest that he almost forgets to actually listen to the words.

_‘I had been lost to you, sunlight And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight_

_‘All the tales the same Told before and told again A soul that’s born in cold and rain Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight’_

He’s grinning now. God, he hates his boyfriend so much. He’s been wanting to tell him he loves him for weeks now, but of course he had to sweep in and ruin all the plans Matteo had for it. There’s something stuck in his throat, emotions he needs to let out. 

_‘Oh, all these colors fade for you only Hold me, carry me slowly, my sunlight Each day, you'd rise with me Know that I would gladly be The Icarus to your certainty Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight’_

David’s smile is as bright as the sunlight he keeps singing about, and Matteo’s just keeps growing and growing the longer the song progresses. He’s buzzing. All he wants is to touch David right now, go somewhere they can be alone. 

The song trails off, David’s voice so soft and gentle against Matteo’s skin, as soft as summer rain. 

_‘Oh, your love is sunlight But it is sunlight Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.’_

He’s not sure what the protocol is when your boyfriend surprises you with a love song in front of all your friends. David is standing up, though, holding his guitar tight and saying his usual thanks into mic, words Matteo isn’t listening to, too wrapped up in his little bubble of love and awe. And then before he knows it, David is gone through the doors, no doubt getting rid of his guitar before joining the gang, but Matteo’s friends are yelling at him to get up and go after him. Louise throws him a wink over her shoulders where she’s wiping at the counter top, giving him permission to go out back. 

He opens the door to David just zipping his guitar bag closed and placing it against the wall in the small storage room. 

They don’t move, just look at each other with big eyes. Matteo is stuck.

David clears his throat after a moment, nervous again, letting his guard down. ‘I hope that was okay. I know I didn’t warn you.’ 

And that’s too much for Matteo, he can’t have David thinking he’s anything but ridiculously in love. So he throws himself forward, and puts it all in a kiss. David makes a surprised noise and actually stumbles a bit before placing his hands on Matteo’s waist and steadying him, then kisses him back with the same amount of passion. 

Although the kissing is very nice and Matteo would gladly do this all day, he also just really needs David to understand what he’s feeling. So he pulls away, not far, just enough to look into his eyes. 

‘I love you, too.’

David’s face lights up even more at that, his smile taking over all his features. ‘Wanna get out of here?’, he asks, with a tilt of his head, mirroring what he said that night, and telling Matteo exactly where he’s thinking of taking him.

All Matteo can do is nod.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever spots the get down references has all my respect.  
> Hope you enjoyed it! Please consider leaving kudos or a comment, they mean so much! Song and title are by Hozier!  
> Tumblr:Vlindervin7  
> (For those wondering about the hogwarts au, an update will come. Can't tell you when, but it's being written, I promise.)


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